Our brains find patterns, that's what they are designed to do. We each have a unique set of patterns in our mind based on what we've been told, what we've seen and what we've experienced.
Our patterns tell us what is coming next and how things are going to work out. This persistent future-telling voice is so familiar that we can't even hear it throughout the day. We may not be aware of it, but we are heavily reliant on it. And it determines our outcomes - quite literally controlling our lives.
As we experience daily information overload - we need our brains to cut out the noise, so we rely on the patterns instead of the information in front of us. The problem arises when our brains get too tightly trained or start to make faulty associations. It tries to draw too many conclusions, takes short cuts, and we end up with some odd assumptions about what will happen if we do the things we really want to do.
Often the bad results you are getting in life are because you have wrongly associated some value with the action that is causing you issue.
You are entirely unfulfilled at your job but you can't leave because your sense of loyalty tells you there's still value here.
You dream of moving to the coast but you never do because you want to be responsible.
You never release your new idea because you haven't hit the mark of quality you think is essential.
The values above are loyalty, responsibility and quality. These are beautiful things to infuse into your life and your character. But if we aren't careful, your mind starts to associate those things with anything and everything.
Things that are similar to one another can easily be connected. Your coworkers are similar to your friends or family, people you spend a lot of time with and invest a lot of energy into. It's an easy leap to see leaving a job as the equivalent of getting up from the table at Thanksgiving and walking out. Does the short-cut seeking brain know the difference between the family table at Thanksgiving and a conference room table in a boardroom?
So often the thing holding you back is a faulty assumption that staying where you are is serving some honorable value. Unconsciously we've made the assumption that the "kinds of people who do those things" are not the "kinds of people" we are or want to be. Until you can uncover the deeper reason you are holding on, you'll continue to stall out and self-sabotage.
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